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Original Title:	Darkness Weaves
ISBN:	0446895989 (ISBN13: 9780446895989)
Edition Language:	English
Series:	Kane #7
Characters:	Kane

Darkness Weaves (Kane #7)

Karl Edward Wagner

Mass Market Paperback | Pages: 288 pages

Rating: 4.05 | 1266 Users | 58 Reviews

Explanation Supposing Books Darkness Weaves (Kane #7)

WHO IS THE ULTIMATE SWORD AND SORCERY BADASS: KANE OR CONAN?

4.5 to 5.0 stars. Today, I thought I would provide a public service by definitively answering the above question, which has been confounding fantasy fan boys for decades.

Now before we (and by we I mean myself and the other voices in my head) answer this question, we want to comment on all of the other “theories” floating around regarding this question developed by so called “experts” in the genre. These other theories are, in a word, guff, poppycock and drivel. They do nothing more than muddy the waters and cause angry confrontation from fan boys who have had too much Mountain Dew and Crunch and Munch. Well enough of that “subjective” crap, we have developed an actual MATHEMATICAL PROOF that answers this question once and for all.*

*WARNING: The proof used in this review was developed in cooperation with psychotic gnomes, hopped up on Mescaline, No Doz and Thunderbird and tested only in a controlled environment deep within the creamy nougat center of a King Size Three Musketeers. Solving the proof below while either sober or wearing clothing made from any form of “natural” fiber may cause incontinence (with or without anal bleeding), excessive hair growth and/or night terrors. Please consult an unemployed physician** before reading the rest if this review and advise them whether you have: (1) purchased and watched more than once the entire first season of Alf; (2) yelled at a child under 7 for grabbing the last Beanie Baby from the display rack when you were reaching for it; or (3) fallen in and out of love during the course of a single trip to the post office.

** We are trying to do our part to help the economy by getting Doctors off the street.

Here is an explanation of this proof so you can follow along at home as well as verifying the accuracy of the steps taken.

STEP 1

We start off by assigning values for the following:

g(1) + f(1) + 1(y -17) to stand for Kane's supreme coolness and overall badassedness quotient
h(1) + f(1) + 2 (x + 4) to stand for Conan's square-jawed manliness and penchant for fur

STEP 2

A. Next we add to the Kane equation the co-efficient of Kane's mysterious, well developed, Lovecraftian world of ancient mad gods, powerful alien conquests and epochs of lost technology which is represented mathematically as follows:

k(t) + 1+Vt+Et2+Ft3(sin8)+t4(cosX)

B. We then include on Conan’s side the square root of Conan's Hyborian Age, add in the supreme awesomeness of the individual stories “The People of the Black Pool” and “The Tower of the Elephant” then divide by Pi (to account for Robert Howard's blatant racism) which is expressed as follows:

c(t) + hy(5) + (P(2)b+Te(7)) + 4y/Pi

STEP 3

We then add to Kane an amount equal to his immortal undyingness, which provides him with “wicked smarts” and “two oodles” of knowledge represented as:

7x + 15g - (y + 3n)

plus Kane’s “Wolverine” like healing ability shown as:

9xt/4 +1(8-5y) + 17

and add his seriously outstanding sorcerer abilities (plus another 15 since he rarely uses them as they are not necessary do to his “the bombitude” in other areas):

Oh + Yeah+15

STEP 4

Finally, we add +75 to Conan for the phrase "By Crom" and +125 for Conan’s ability to answer the question “What is Best in Life?”

ANSWER:

Kane = g(1) + f(1) + 1(y -17) + k(t) + 1+Vt+Et2+Ft3(sin8)+t4(cosX) + 7x + 15g - (y + 3n) +9xt/4 +1(8-5y) + 17 + Oh + Yeah +15

Kane = 220,500 “theMan” units

Conan = h(1) + f(1) + 2 (x + 4) + c(t) + hy(5) + (P(2)b+Te(7)) + 4y/Pi +75 +125

Conan = 117,400 “theMan” units and a remainder of 42 “kickasses”

RESULT

As you can clearly see, Kane has been PROVEN to have almost TWICE the BADASSEDNESS of Conan, which can be expressed using the following equation:

Conan = Kane’s bitch

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS AND CLARIFICATIONS

The developers of the above proof (other then the psychotic gnomes) would like to stress in the strongest possible terms that we are HUGE fans of Conan (as evidenced by our many 5 star reviews of his awesome adventures) and that his being Kane’s bitch does not diminish his overall coolness. For comparison sake, the creators of this proof when calculating their own “badassedness” come up with a total of less than a single “theMan” unit which caused serious negative image outlook and bouts of weeping.

That said, we will now take questions from the audience if there is anyone there. If addressing a question to a specific “voice” in my head, please call him/her by name and/or planet of origin.

Present Containing Books Darkness Weaves (Kane #7)

Title	:	Darkness Weaves (Kane #7)
Author	:	Karl Edward Wagner
Book Format	:	Mass Market Paperback
Book Edition	:	Deluxe Edition
Pages	:	Pages: 288 pages
Published	:	January 1st 1978 by Warner (first published 1970)
Categories	:	Fantasy. Fiction. Heroic Fantasy. Sword and Sorcery. Horror

Rating Containing Books Darkness Weaves (Kane #7)

Ratings: 4.05 From 1266 Users | 58 Reviews

Piece Containing Books Darkness Weaves (Kane #7)

Do you love sword and sorcery fiction? Do you enjoy anti-heroes pretty much destroying the world with a weapon in each hand? Not opposed to a redhead? Then don't wait, but dive in! You're in for a treat.Darkness Weaves was all I hoped it would be. Wagner provides us an interesting anti-hero, but one who will fail to elicit any sympathy. That's okay, because he's great at killing. The settings are atmospheric and the writing style is perfectly matched to bring out the oh-so eldritch decay of it

Reread this book after finding it in an old box of mine my parents gave me after cleaning the grandparent's attic. Kane is a fantasy anti-hero. Barbaric in his actions, if not his orgins, evil not in the small details of life, but in his general abandonment of any standards or measurements outside his own personal gain. Saying all that, Wagner makes him likable, or at least intriguing, and you can cheer for Kane because in the world he inhabits the choice does not seem to be between good and

Fans of Conan need to check this book out, as Wagner writes some brutal fight sequences and has a good imagination for multiple-person battle scenarios. There are also several decent subplots working in this book at all, which is surprising given its short length.All in all, this is a tightly-written book that I really enjoyed.

This was my first Kane novel. I enjoyed it. Kane is an interesting, enigmatic character. Hes equal parts down to earth, a kind of proletarian hero and demigod. You get references to his immortality, his superpowers, but these powers arent always on display in action scenes. Kane gets wounded, his sword strokes miss, and he evinces anxiety about dying (hiding from guards and soldiers, etc.). Its a compelling reading exerperience: your protagonist is a superhuman who acts very human. One issue I



This is copy 40 of 300 signed and numbered copies. Facsimile signed by Karl Edward Wagner and signed by Bram Sels.

This is one of my favorite dark fantasy series. Kane is an excellent anti-hero, not really good but not entirely a bad guy either. Excellent story and character. Highly recommended.